Tuesday, 2 June 2015

The Tuesday Truth

This week's Tuesday Truth is written by Lucinda Nicholls, Solicitor at Richard Nelson and LCCSA committee member

 A Vivid Imagination

So I participated in a 10km Legal Walk recently and needed something to occupy my mind.  At the start I was quite surprised by the thousands of people that completed the walk and I spent the first 20minutes or so reading the back of everyone's t-shirts to see where walkers had come from. 

I then had time to let my mind wonder.  And wonder it did.  It had started after having  a brief conversation with an associate regarding the upcoming Strictly Come Dancing night organised by Furnival Chambers.  It turned out, that before I came to the big smoke, there was also a very well attended white collar boxing event that was eventually replaced by the dancing. In fact I was talking to one of the gentlemen that fought one year.

So what next?  Coupled with the thought of trying to raise funds for the LCCSA, there had to be a new idea on the horizon.  How could we move forward with the times? What would be entertaining, fun and get the adrenaline pumping?  We love a good fight in the legal world and everyone loves a bit of a drama.  Then names of some great people popped into my head from my younger days watching some of the best entertainment..the Undertaker, the British Bulldog, Kane, Jake the Snake, Bret 'The Hitman' Hart, Stone Cold Steve Austin and of course Hulk Hogan! In my mind, I raise one of my eyebrows and shout along with the crowds on the TV 'Can you smellll what the Rock is cooking?!' Oh what fun! Could this be the next stage of entertainment for the legal world? Could it be possible?

Then my mind really started to wonder... I could see 'Jon 'The Pres' Black from the LCCSA bouncing into centre stage of York Hall to the backing track of The Charming Man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHnt3o_nAVo. Solicitors from London and the surrounds screaming in support of the man who fought the MOJ, fought the Courts, and fought the non-believers.  He'd bounce in wearing his HCA gown and black war paint on his cheeks.  On hitting the ring, he'd jump onto the ropes in the corners and the Sols and police station reps and paralegals would be going wild, fist pumping the air and screams of support....

Then the music takes a more sombre affair...as the opposition approaches....the lights go out, notes of Apocalypse Now music (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPf_PJlJsJQ ) echoes around the room.  Everyone goes silent.  The spotlight shines onto the opposite entrance and the first thing you notice is the hair.  Oh my life, no....it's not...can it really be Tony 'the CBA boss' Cross?! Oh yes!  The barristers are up off their chairs and the room erupts with energy and adrenaline. He walks towards the ring in his wig and QC gown making sure the crowds can see the difference between his and what 'The Pres' was wearing.  Barristers point and take note as he marches in saying 'I'm fighting for Rivlin.'

So they're both in the ring, the crowd is going wild and the referee has given the orders 'No chairs and no tag teams for this fight lads.'  Both men eye each other up.  'The Pres' growls at 'The Boss' but he doesn't flinch. 

Next thing you know, the bell rings, the action happens, and both men tackle each other and bounce off the ropes.  The match is evenly fought, no side seems to win, but then out of nowhere The Boss pulls out a heavy looking folder. In big letters on the front it says 'Save the Independent Bar.'  He uses this as a weapon which appears to take The Pres by surprise but it seems he has a trick up his sleeve.  Out of nowhere a Crown Court Archbold appears with The Pres written down the side of it.  He throws it at The Boss whilst shouting 'I use this book as much as you do!'  Everything goes to slow motion as we see the book hurtle through the air and land smack bang in the chest of The Boss, Tony Cross.  This sends him flying backwards and off his feet.

The crowd goes wild, everyone is up on their feet electric with the adrenalin. Screams from both sides of the fence as they egg on their chosen opponent!

It's safe to say I had an over-active imagination on the day of this walk but I could see the fun that could be had.  I might have mentioned the idea to The Pres who's response was 'I've always been quite keen to give wrestling a go.'  I was even telling my personal trainer who told me there's a wrestling champion at his gym who does lessons.  So basically, if we wanted this to work, all the foundations are in place.  We could create our very own piece of epic entertainment that would be etched in legal history forever more, talked about for generations across the fields of England, over the borders of Scotland, and the mountains of Wales. Were you there when Jon 'The Pres' Black fought Tony 'The CBA Boss' Cross? Who's game? I'll be taking ringside seats for this one.




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