How to Respond to an Austerity
Apologist.
By Ali Parker, Saunders Law.
The American
film-maker and writer Michael Moore once wrote a brilliant chapter called “How to talk to your conservative
brother-in-law”. Today, I will attempt to mirror that by talking to our
chief opponents, namely those citing the need for austerity in legal aid spending.
The general
election is in 11 weeks. It is high time to lay to rest the myth that further
cuts to criminal legal aid is going to help the UK repay its debts. It makes me
smile just to type out that theory. To state the obvious:
1)
We have already endured hugely disproportionate austerity, and this
started long before the financial crisis of 2008,
2)
The amount of money being saved from us is so tiny in relative terms, it
is like trimming your contents insurance by a tenner when you owe £75,000 in
credit cards.
The golden rule: We must let no
one tell us about austerity. We are austerity. We live it, we breathe it, we
embody it. Here is why:
Because
austerity is no fee increases since 1997, during which inflation eats away at
your profit margins, finally stagnating and then downgrading your salaries.
Because
austerity is £172million actual savings
since 2012/3, way ahead of Mr Grayling’s scheduled £215million savings by 2018/19. Have you noticed he doesn’t mention
that number anymore? See, now you’re
getting it. Keep reading.
Because
austerity is having no pension, no savings, relying on travel expenses and
payday becoming an aspiration not a fixture. At the same time, the ‘too big to
fail’ bank that refused your overdraft extension has not repaid its
multi-billion government bailout but its senior officers still get seven figure
bonuses.
Because
austerity is having a spiralling tax bill but no disposable income, whilst the
newly-appointed Solicitor General invests his savings in ‘Invicta Film Partnership No 25’, a scheme which was absolutely ‘not
an attempt to avoid tax’. (I imagine his IFA had no idea about the tax break on
this, so they just discussed the weather, the Big Society, things like that).
Because
austerity is when the litigator fee for the entire work in preparing a 4-day
trial for Assault occasioning ABH is less than the cost of a ticket to the
Global Law Summit.
Because
austerity is telling your lender that you've lots of exciting complex cases on,
but no control over how much they're worth and, oh yes, the waiting time for
these trials is now about 18 months.
Because
austerity is a solicitor rushing from her home in Milton Keynes to reach a
deserted iron barn AKA a ‘Metropolitan police custody centre’. Neither the
solicitor nor the Met police is valued highly enough to afford real London
property.
Because
austerity is standing in the dark and drizzle outside one of these deserted
'custody centres' with a hole in your shoe and an out-of-date Snickers for your
dinner (which was called a Marathon when you last got a pay rise).
Because
austerity is duty solicitors now typically earning half the wage of London tube drivers, for no other reason than the
latter know how to unite and to strike. (that’s a compliment, they deserve it).
Because
austerity is shopping around for an expert witness who still dabbles in legal
aid out of academic curiosity.
Because
austerity is handing a carefully-worded Basis of Plea to a ‘Prosecuting case
worker’ who pretends to know what it is, but then asks
whether you are pleading guilty or not.
Because
austerity is hearing that a Court interpreter was refused entry to Leicester
Magistrates’ Court last week because he was so drunk. Quite literally out-sauced.
Because
austerity is passionately applying for an adjournment to your trial, but being
secretly relieved when it’s refused because at least your case might actually
end, so you can bill it.
Because
austerity is being told that external photocopying is capped at 5p per page,
and the 28 lever arch files, plus tabs and dividers are 'general office overheads'. Never before did
'BYOB' mean 'bring your own binders'.
Because
austerity is the fact that in legal aid these days, a ‘company car’ is actually
when the entire company operates from inside a car.
Because
austerity is knowing that if every public sector had endured what we have,
there would have been (a) mass rioting and (b) a UK budget surplus roughly the
size of Qatar.
Because
austerity is seeing the careers advisor's patronising smile as he says 'Now,
have you really thought that through?'
Because
austerity is being a trainee solicitor and so losing your minimum salary rights
just after your tuition fees got trebled.
Because
austerity is trying to explain the benefits of legal aid work to a promising
student but you can see her thinking 'Poor
chap, I suppose it's too late for him'.
So when
people glibly say legal aid lawyers need to adapt in line with 'austerity', we
must reply: "Well, you either can't read, or can't count. We are
austerity's blue-eyed boy, you utter pillock" (those last three words are optional but usually deserved).
Please, to
all 'austerity' apologists out there with half a brain - enough of the fatuous
comments about the 'bigger economic picture' as if you work for the UK Treasury.
You don’t. Read the facts. Do the maths. You are supposed to be too smart to
fall for this tosh. You are letting your justice system down.
The Tuesday Truth is that despite
our campaigns, our principled rhetoric and our sabre-rattling about strikes,
during this Parliament legal aid lawyers proved more austere than Mr Grayling
could ever have dreamed of, and more efficient than attaching a waste disposal
unit to his chin.
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